Testimonials

“Melissa is a gracious and compassionate practitioner that builds safe space to hold you while starting this journey and guiding you through it. During the workshop, her voice is warm and grounding. And while the voyage your mind goes through doing this healing work is yours and yours alone; she is right there with you.

There were more than 25 people in the room but to me it was just the two of us.

I have spoken to a few people who were at that session and they expressed similar sentiments on the thoughtfulness and care Melissa takes in her practice.

That session altered me. My vision of who I am, where I came from, and how I am currently moving through this world has changed in a way it is difficult to describe. I am grateful for that.

I cannot recommend Melissa enough.”

— C. A., Workshop Participant

“Working with Melissa is deeply transformative. Through the genuine cooperation between us, the Ideal Parent Figures practice has helped me develop a real sense of safety and of being truly seen and understood. This has allowed me to move towards greater closeness in relationships, something I’ve always longed for. It has also helped me to trust that others genuinely wish me well.

Melissa brings warmth and deep knowledge, making it easy to feel safe even in vulnerable moments.

I wholeheartedly recommend Melissa to anyone wanting to explore attachment and meditation in a heartfelt way.”

— Martin J., Licensed Psychologist

“Melissa is a skillful IPF facilitator who is great at responding to whatever arises and guiding you where you need to go. I found that after 16 weeks, it was noticeably easier to regulate my emotions, calm myself down, and feel more mentally organized when overwhelmed. These processes started to feel more natural rather than effortful, which I’d never experienced before. I’m very grateful to have worked with Melissa.”

— D., Client

“You're an awesome facilitator. One of the best out there in my opinion, and you're pretty brilliant on top of that. Keep kicking ass.

You're doing fantastic work.”

—Evan Leed, IPF Facilitator

“The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol has helped me find the power within myself to regulate my emotions. It’s amazing to me how well it works. It really is. I’m more secure in myself and more confident. Melissa is also an amazing proctor, gently guiding me through the meditations. She and IPF have impacted my life in a genuinely positive way.” 

— Rachel F., Early Education Teacher

“I have been working with Melissa for over a year. I continue to work with her due to her sincerity, warmth, sense of humor and commitment to continued learning. Melissa's personal exploration of and trust in the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol as a superlative healing modality gives me confidence--in both the technique and in her.

Melissa is insightful and makes helpful connections with regards to her clients' integration of material, as well as to their growth. She is encouraging and it is clear that Melissa cares about me and my wellbeing.

I highly recommend her.”

— Mariah F., Preschool Teacher

“I've known Melissa for two years. I've seen how dedicated she is to her craft, how much she cares for her clients, and how she walks the talk, continuing to grow herself in ways that only deepen the knowledge, understanding, and skillset she brings into her work with others.

Melissa is someone you can trust knows what it takes to become earned secure from experience. She walks her clients all the way there with a warmth and openness that supports them even in their most vulnerable moments, helping them on their paths towards secure attachment and all the positive changes that brings along the way."

— Chris Poundwhite, IPF Facilitator

“I had a talk with teenage me and younger me today.

I told them to trust me cos I have skills and I have a job to pay for things now. I have people who care about me, and that I talk to about how I feel. I ask them for what I want and they listen, so I’m not alone. I thanked my younger parts for getting us to where I am today.

I thought about you at one point during the conversation and I smiled to myself…Thank you for this, and for the many other ways you’ve made me feel seen and heard.”

— Grace A., Client

“I was fortunate to experience Melissa Hower as a facilitator for IPF. I could feel the power of this protocol to reach into deep places in the psyche. Melissa was adept and her extensive knowledge of IPF was evident in her careful handling of the technique. She clearly loves this work and has devoted herself to mastering it.”

— K. Hewitt, Somatic Practitioner

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Attachment coaching is an experiential process focused on repairing early attachment conditioning. Sessions use guided imagery through the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol to give your nervous system the experiences of safety, attunement, and support it needed early in life. Over time, this changes how you experience emotions, relationships, and yourself.

  • 
The Ideal Parent Figure Protocol is an attachment repair method developed by Dr. Dan Brown and colleagues. You imagine a pair of Ideal Parents who are perfectly suited to your needs. Through repeated experiences of secure relating with them, your internal attachment model shifts from insecure to secure.

  • No. I guide you in imagining your own Ideal Parents. They meet your attachment needs, not me. My role is to support and shape the process so it is safe, attuned, and effective.

  • The work is especially helpful for people who have spent years in therapy or personal growth and still feel stuck. Many of my clients are insightful, self aware, and motivated, yet continue to struggle with emotional reactivity, relationship challenges, or lacking an embodied sense of inner safety.

    Wanting things to truly change is the common thread amongst them.

  • 
No. I am an Attachment Coach, Integrative Attachment Therapy Practitioner in training, and Mettagroup-Method trained Ideal Parent Figure Protocol Facilitator. The IPF was developed by licensed therapists, and I receive ongoing and extensive training and supervision from clinicians specializing in attachment repair.

  • 
Many clients notice shifts in emotional regulation and reactivity within the first few weeks and months. Research by Dan Brown suggests that reaching earned secure attachment typically takes between 50 and 150 sessions, depending on individual history and attachment style.

  • Yes. All sessions are conducted virtually through Zoom. This work is highly effective in online settings.

  • While guided imagery is used, the focus is not relaxation or positive thinking. The work is relational and experiential, designed to change how your nervous system responds to attachment and emotional cues.

I am an ocean of emotions, but I taught myself to swim. ~ Louise Kaufman

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I am an ocean of emotions, but I taught myself to swim. ~ Louise Kaufman /